Observations of Mrs Average

Toys in the millions.... all under one roof

2012-01-25T15:55:00.000Z

And it must be the worst place to visit..... ever.

Yes I'm talking Toys R Us. Today I had the pleasure (cough cough) of visiting my local store. The fact that I had the day off to study was neither her nor there. See it is Miss A's birthday on the 1st (can you believe she is 2?!) and as Mr A and I have not been able to think what we can get her*, I rather stupidly thought I'd get some inspiration from wandering aimlessly about the store. I do not know what came over me.

So, it was stacked high and priced to fleece you. I listened to umpteen tanoy announcements which rival, no, no, are worse than those on Paddington Station (and they are grim).

I picked up the Dyson Ball that Master A said her wanted to get her. I grabbed some die cast Thomas characters (she is really into Thomas at the moment) and the magnetic drawing board that I know she will love. But we just wanted something else. I scanned the doll isle thinking that I might possibly be able to 'girl her up' with a doll (she doesn't even play with the one she has) but nothing stuck out. Just as an aside, what on earth has happened to Barbie, she wasn't that tacky 30 years ago, was she?

It was getting desperate. So desperate in fact that I nearly picked up a microphone. You know the sort of thing, basically a handheld amplifier. Don't worry I came to my senses and put it back. She already could give a foghorn a run for its money.

In the end I opted for a vet outfit and set..... Not sure if I have shot myself in the foot there but am left wondering if we should get saving for the university fees!

*Either she or Master A have already got it..... well anything that is nice!

No time for thought

2012-01-24T20:28:00.000Z

Do you get times in your life where the world whirls by and you have a million things whipping about your mind? All things that you need to do but you have no time to plan how you are going to do them or when. No time to sit down and empty your head. Its been going on for months and it just wont clear.

So this evening I shall be emptying my head onto paper. Organising my world into an order. Tomorrow it will be clear..... and life.....moving forward again.

A wee dram and some cream

2012-01-23T19:08:00.000Z

Yeah, it is that time of year again where I have an excuse to eat haggis and shovel in cranachan. Strictly speaking Burns night is 25th January but as Mr A is away all week, we thought we'd do our celebration on Sunday. I posted up my cranachan recipe last year in Great Scot so I wont bore you with the nitty gritty of it again. However I substituted the honey with 100g of vanilla sugar.

Mm mm mmmmmmm.

How could you manage that?

2012-01-21T22:19:00.000Z

Today in the news there was a report on parents who concealed the gender of their child until he was five years old. They didn't want their child to grow up being stereotyped and he dressed in both boys and girls clothes and played with all sorts of toys without the pressure of conforming. After I had picked myself off of the floor in shock (after all how the flippin' eck do you manage to conceal it?!) I was infuriated that a parent could do that to a child.

Now, I'm all for allowing my children to play with whatever they like without the worry of being ridiculed. Master A has been to a little girls birthday party dressed as a fairy as he wanted and we did not taunt him. Missy A loves nothing better than her set of construction toys. Unfortunately society is full of gender stereotyping and it is impossible for us to protect our children from it even if we wanted to.

But I would never contemplate using either of my children as social experiments. As a psychologist by trade, to carry out an experiment like this would have seen me in front of an ethics committee. Why were these parents allowed to get away with it?! We cannot possibly say how this has affected the child and what the future will hold for him.

This story will probably incite some strong opinions on both sides...... here is the article so you can decide for yourself.

It's a boy, after years of mystery

Time to diet?

2012-01-15T13:01:00.001Z

Master A to Mr A whilst being dried after his bath.
"Daddy, your boobies are going up and down"

Our little soap star

2012-01-12T20:29:00.000Z

This morning in our rush to head off to nursery Master A forgot to pick up his hi-vis jacket. Hi-vis jacket I hear you ask...... Well has taken to wearing it to nursery so that he can show the schools site manager and caretakers (they wear them). Anyway knowing that I was going to pop home to get changed into my walking gear (it was supposed to drizzle) on my way to pick them up I said to him that I would bring it then.

Well as we headed through the doors of nursery, Tony, the site manager saw us and Master A shouted,

"Tony, I forgot my hi-vis. But don't worry mummy will get it later when she gets changed into her treaousers".

To my horror, he sounded like he was a regular in Eastenders. I glared at him and said that I thought he meant trousers. Tony laughed and replied, "Whoops sorry, sounds like he has been spending too much time with me".

It did make me chuckle though.

Just to clarify, Tony the Site Manager is Master As idol. He lets Master A watch and help when it is safe and Master A finds jobs for him. I think it is great for a chap who has the responsibility for a large school, arts centre, local theatre etc all under his remit!

Tired

2012-01-10T19:17:00.000Z

Why do our kids have a way of making us feel bad?

Master A had a strop when we left nursery about, well I don't know what it was about. He grizzled all the way home, getting out of the car and whilst we were getting in. He grizzled whilst Mr A was packing up the car (he is away tonight). He grizzled whilst he got himself ready for bed and then he grizzled in bed.....

..... until he fell asleep about 30 seconds later. Mr A left for work without a goodbye from him. I feel sad for the both of them. But I am the one left with a limp feeling!

Kids eh!?

Still applying yourself?

2012-01-09T19:44:00.000Z

Now this is a subject that I have written about before, almost this time last year in fact. After sifting through a number of applications for a receptionist position at my school I had to tell the world how to Apply Yourself! The position is vacant again (nothing I said, I promise) so I need to let off a bit of steam once more.

In this past year, in times of economic hardship and greater unemployment; a highly sought after term time job still seems not encourage people to complete their bloody application forms properly.

This time there were 54 applications for the job and it took me a full day to long list and then a few hours of whittling it down to four interviewees. To my surprise, the level of applications was still poor.... the applicants obviously hadn't read my last post!!

So here we go again, some tips and hints:

TIP 1:
Complete the form in its entirety. Fill out the blanks such as; the references section, the bit where it asks for your NI number. Yep, everything. Someone this time managed to forget their name.

TIP 2:
Write your personal statement with reference to the person specification. It even says this at the top of the form. I cannot bang on about this any more without popping a vein in my forehead. If you don't meet criteria, talk about relevant experience or what you are going to do to make sure you meet the criteria. Two lines will not win me over. Crossings out (yes people still cross out apparently) are not acceptable. And the biggy, telling me why the job is good for you does not make good reading! An example of not good (and this was the two liner):

I think I would be good at the job and, as I need a position that fits around my children, I believe I will be an asset.

TIP 3:
Type it. You will live and die by your PC at work, so if you wish to demonstrate your "Excellent ICT skills, with experience of Microsoft Office packages" then type it. If you don't have a computer, borrow or go to the library. How much do you want this? If you do, make the effort.

TIP 4:
Maths and English are important these days. The minimum requirement is Maths and English GCSE A-C or equivalent. You can do the adult literacy and numeracy courses these days for nothing so there isn't an excuse. Presenting me with a failed maths and an E for English isn't good. We had people with degrees applying which may demonstrate that you will need to get competitive if you want a job.

TIP 5:
Check spelling. I saw 4 forms using "i" instead of "I". The word receptionist was spelt incorrectly throughout another, whilst several failed to spell the name of the school correctly! Oh and my name has an E on the end..... please check as that is a little bit irritating.

I would love to give some constructive feedback to all candidates about their forms but obviously that isn't possible..... so to anyone applying for a job, I urge you to take some time if you really want it. If you don't want it then don't apply as some poor sod has to read them all.

Mrs A is grateful for making it .....

2012-01-06T21:25:00.001Z

..... and for everything that the future holds.

We have a roof over our heads, our health and happiness. There was a little bit of stress in the Average household as we led into 2011; a double redundancy and the wonderment as to how we would manage to afford to eat. But us Averages have fighting spirit and we got through, stronger and better off for it! So really I am saying that I am grateful for the strength and support of my Averages. There were new beginnings in abundance in 2011 and I'm sure there will be plenty more in 2012 (Master A goes to school - agh!).

Join in the Bloghop over at Maxabella Loves as part of the Kidspot 52 Weeks of Grateful project

Showing my age!?

2012-01-05T21:41:00.000Z

Mrs A: Just be careful you don't start sounding like a broken record.
Mr A: Don't you mean "a corrupt music download"?

Whiskey Cream recipe

2012-01-03T20:57:00.001Z

I tried this new one out on the iLs at Christmas dinner. It was well enjoyed so here it is to share. For the full monty recipe which is printable please head over to my recipe page and click into the link for the Sweet and Boozy Whiskey Cream.

Ingredients:

2½ cups milk (plus 2 tbsp milk a little later on)
¼ cup plain flour
Pinch nutmeg (optional)
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp unsalted butter
2tbsp caster sugar
2 egg yolks
3 tbsp whiskey

Method:

1. Meltthe butter in a saucepan over a low heat.
2. Sprinkleover the flour and stir together with a wooden spoon but don’t let it colour.
3. Remove from the heat and slowly add the milk,beating constantly and vigorously so that you don’t get a lumpy mixture.
4. Returnto the heat, still stirring constantly and then add the sugar.
5. Simmerfor a few minutes.
6. In abowl, stir together the yolks, the 2 tbsp milk, the vanilla extract, thewhiskey and the nutmeg if using.
7. Pourthis a little at a time into the milk mixture, whilst stirring constantly andon a low heat.
8. Addmore sugar and/or whiskey to taste.
9. Servewarm but it can be cooled and reheated.

New year, new note book

2012-01-02T21:33:00.001Z

Santa gave me a new note book.... I don't know how other Bloggers do it, but if I don't have a note book on hand, I forget things that I might want to blog about. To be honest if I don't write most things down, I forget it! Anyway the notebook is already getting full of scribbles so I'm a bit excited. My creative juices dried up in December so I am happy to have some material again.

Do you need a notebook to write things down? How do you remember things?

And a happy New Year

2012-01-01T22:43:00.002Z

Admittedly it has been a few weeks, but I obviously couldn't let today go past without wishing the world a Happy New Year. The run up to Christmas was just so busy and I neglected Mrs Average...all that wrapping and card writing (and I think I was supposed to be studying somewhere there too)!

Anyway a few words to start the year off (albeit I have had a few Baileys and my typing is a little laboured).....(apologies for any typos not picked up by the good ole spell check).....

The Average family have said a fond farewell to 2011 and are looking forward to 2012. This time last year, a double redundancy was staring us in the face. Thankfully we both managed to obtain gainful employment and we still have a roof over our heads - ok the house is still in its half state of it's "do-up" and our savings dissapeared. But we made it, together as a family. We enjoyed a lovely family Christmas at home (no snow though) and a slightly less relaxed New Year at MiLA and FiLAs, but it has been great all the same.

This year is a big one, for us as a family and us as a country (and yeah I'm proud). So as a family the biggy must be that Master C will be going to school! Agh my big baby!! No doubt I shall write about it in glorious technicolour as I blub into my keyboard!

As a country.... the Olympics, the Queen's diamond jubilee and the hope that where we live will obtain city status. Party, party!

Resolutions for 2012? No, not our style. We have a list of things we want to do before the end of the year - we see it more as a series of objectives:

Finish Missy A's bedroom, finish the bathroom, finish the office and finish the living room...no pressure then as the outside of the house also needs a paint! So under a programme of activity we shall get there before the end of the summer.
Of course we aim to spend as much time together as a family - especially learning, walking (yep a few stone to shed) and cooking. We have worked out how and when.

As for Mrs Average, she is hoping to get more interactive. Look forward to more of an insight into Average life, reviews and recipes (apparently my hampers were a real hit so head over to the recipe page for ideas later in the year).

Love and best wishes
Mrs A x

Missy Blobby

2011-12-12T19:32:00.003Z

Yeah, festivities began in the Average house at the weekend.

We had the usual annual flap as we realised the lights needed replacing (yet again), we obviously were compelled to drink a whole bottle of Baileys, and we listened to back to back Christmas music/Christmas number ones since 1960. Perfect.

Although..... I think I dressed Missy A in the wrong outfit as I discovered when the video for Mr Blobby's Christmas number 1 (1993 in case you were wondering) came on.....

Terrible picture, but I just had to capture the moment!

My middle class Kentish accent fails

2011-12-06T19:36:00.001Z

I said (or rather I sang badly), "Transformers, robots in disguise"
Master A relplied, "Why are the robots in the sky?"

Dear so and so ..... the strike edition

2011-11-30T19:51:00.001Z

Dear The Great British Public (oh and Mr Cameron and your bumbling Tory colleagues),

As a public sector worker of 10 years, I feel the need to have a rant; my contribution to the strike action that happened today.

I didn't strike but I whole heartedly support the action and am glad that it was significant and caused disruption. If I didnt really need the days wages I would have been out there with my placard so just because I am making my contribution through the media of Blogging doesn't mean to say I am not as passionate.

The issue is far greater than just the pensions. However let me start with that.....

When I signed up for my pension in 2002, it was a good choice. State pensions (even back then) were heading towards a bit of a disaster so I thought better opt in so that when state pensions disappear, I will be left with something to show for my working years. Credit should be given to the fact we will be helping save money to the system..... just not yet.

In 2008 I endured the first round of changes to the terms and conditions of my pension. I was less than pleased. I don't know anyone who has purchased a private pension only to be told the company providing it that the terms have significantly changed and you cant retire until 10 years later than the scheme originally stated. Anyway there is rising youth unemployment so don't they need people to retire to free up jobs?!

Oh and matters were made worse as my particular pension scheme had been invested in a rather infamous Icelandic Bank that collapsed. Why was this allowed to happen - the public were made to pay for that cock up which could have been avoided if there wasnt such a gross mismanagement.

As I said, the issue really isn't just about pensions, it is about the way the government is squeezing the hard working public of the UK. Public sector workers are mainly middle earning people, the type of people most suffering. The majority aren't rich enough to have a plush lifestyle and we are not poor enough to obtain benefits. Most have had a pay freeze since 2008.

This however is the same for hard working private sector workers so I am not going to distinguish. The benefit of our unionised way of working is that we have a voice to demonstrate our discontent, the rest suffer in silence (or apathy). Earn between £16,000 and £40,000 you are likely to be hardest hit at the moment, whatever you do for a living.

The public sector hemorrhages money in other ways - sort this out before you make us pay more and work longer. Needless bureaucracy, deadwood, overpaid chiefs, expenses (MPs I am talking about you)..... I wont go on. But the teachers, nurses, policemen and women and all other hard working public sector employees should have the support of the British public.

You should not believe everything you hear in the media.... money hungry and greedy..... you are having a laugh right?!

Random thought to share

2011-11-27T20:41:00.001Z

I am an avid Strictly [Come Dancing] watcher, but there is one thing that bothers me. Well more one person that bothers me. Brendan Cole.

He is almost not human. His torso and his legs can move in opposite directions, whilst his midriff stays extraordinarily still. Thing is, I thought I had seen the last of "Mr Independent legs" when Lulu got voted off. Then he came back to haunt me whilst he stood in to dance with Holly Valance. And this week he spooked me by standing in to dance with Anita Dobson. I cant get rid of him..... please no more..... no man's legs should do that!

The attack of the shower curtain

2011-11-23T16:53:00.001Z

Don't you just hate them..... You know, those flappy plastic shower curtains, especially when the shower isn't ever so wide and there is barely enough room for you and it in the space The moment the water goes on, it attaches itself to you like a leech. You then spend a whole shower detaching itself from your torso and legs! Yep, that is the shower curtain in my hotel room.

Never mind, back home tomorrow, all coursed out, mentally refreshed and looking forward to my shower screen.

Ooo argh

2011-11-21T22:12:00.001Z

Thatpeople was my particularly naff impersonation of someone from the West Country.

Today Itravelled alone from foggy Kent to an overcast small coastal town in Devon fora course. Well to be honest I couldn't have wished for such a lovely locationto learn; my hotel room overlooks the sea and a particularly famous coastalrailway!!

My mindis becoming clearer for two reasons:

1. I have travelled without my usualentourage of children and their associated luggage, so my brain is focusing onme rather than them. I really cannot remember when that was the case!

2. I have travelled from the hustleand bustle of London/Kent to the enormously relaxed pace far west - that inreality means I no longer have to play mind games with other commuters as toseating and luggage arrangements.

I ammissing my children (and Mr A obviously) but dinner was great. Over an hour ofme thinking about "my stuff", albeit I was made to listen toChristmas music in a slightly gordy restaurant. But hey, can’t have everything.My sole gujons were a little crispy resulting in four of them skidding onto thefloor whilst I tried to stab them (other diners probably thought I was strange,laughing to myself), but the saving grace was the Crème Brule (my favouritedessert of course).

So the next couple of days willbe a time for contemplation and reflection......

Cross

2011-11-18T18:29:00.001Z

Just gotta get this one off my chest.

Master A; willful child..... one you have to ask several times to do (or not) something, one that will normally do it (or not) anyway because he "felt like it". He's a joy but a challenge. Probably a typical boy. Today he had his first telling off from the Headteacher. Probably at this point I should say that he is still in nursery!! He threw a large block even after he was told not to. There have been other incidents that the staff have "caught me for a word for" over the past few months but this was serious.

So how am I dealing with it? He had his telling off at nursery (he was probably embarrassed enough), I told him I was disappointed in him whilst we drove home and then he went straight to bed (and I was looking forward to snuggling up with him in front of Children in Need).

I'm worried. Is this a slippery slope? Is it because I work long hours and he gets tired as a result of long days? What am I doing wrong? Is he bored and in need of more stimulation at nursery (he has been there since he was 6 months)?

I do my best and generally I never ask more of myself than that, but tonight I feel quite crap about it all.

So how else am I dealing with it? Asda accidental sent a pack of fish fingers in the shopping so I am having all 12 [as Mr A isn't here] with a glass of wine.

It's nice to be wanted

2011-11-16T21:26:00.001Z

..... but preferably do it without the stress in future. Just some words of advice to Mr A.

On Monday evening I popped out with some work colleagues to have a drink. We went straight from work and only had the one before heading home. As it wasn't going to be a late one I thought I'd ask Mr A to come and pick me up (now we are environmentally friendly and only have one car). He could pick the children up from nursery, get them home and bathed and then they could have a 10 minute outing in the car all pajamad (its a new word) up. I text him at 5:40pm to say that I would need picking up at 6:45pm.

Well, as I headed out of the pub at 6:40pm I looked at my phone. It had 5 text messages and 8 missed phone calls, all from Mr A and I hadn't heard it as I had left my phone on silent. I then of course went into panic, that something had happened with the children so flicked into the first text message which said "On way now!". That had been sent at 5:50pm. Confused and concerned I called him (after fumbling with the phone and knocking all the wrong buttons in haste).

Mrs A: "Whats up, where are you?"
Mr A: "Driving around looking for you, where are you?"

He sounded dreadful and distraught.

Mrs A: "At the pub waiting for you, why are you driving about?
Mr A: "Well you wanted picking up at quarter to six but I got your text late and I thought you had started to walk home"
Mrs A: "I said 6:45pm"
Mr A: "What?, Hang on I'm coming, dont move"

Sure enough he arrived minutes later. I got in the car and he was all shaky and in tears.

Mr A: "I thought I'd lost you"
When we had calmed down, we established that he had got the text and misread it and thrown (not literally) all the children in the car and come to find me. When I wasn't there he went into a panic and got no answer on my phone making the situation worse. Bless him. I was cross and flattered all at the same time.

Big hugs to Mr A who is currently on a work ~~trip~~ piss up in chilly Germany. It is nice to be wanted but it was an extreme way to show me.

I know I should be studying.....

2011-11-09T20:01:00.000Z

..... but what is the harm of just doing a little post?

All of the Averages have recovered from the bonfire/Master Average birthday party and have been a busy week. I thought I would grab a few moments to share a few funny things that have cropped up in my day.

Bad spelling:

Cute son:

Master A clutching his V-tech camera, "Mummy I'm going to cheese your bottom".

It's that time of year....

2011-11-02T20:24:00.000Z

I cant belive it, but Master A is 4 on Sunday and preparation for the annual Average firework/birthday gathering are continuing in ernest. I love this part of being a mum.

Happy Halloween

2011-11-01T21:00:00.000Z

I know I'm a day late, but due to a slight eye lid incident (whereby mine shut accidentally whilst watching The Apprentice) I didn't post this up last night.

Here are the Average offspring's creations, which were placed on the top of our bay window. Obviously the Average offspring had a little help in carving the face (I don't suppose I am the only parent who thinks sharp knives and children are a very bad idea), but they enjoyed the scraping out.....

Missy A debating on whether to scoop out or stick her head in!

My party hell

2011-10-30T22:32:00.000Z

What a weekend. Well, what a Saturday! Yesterday the Average offspring spent the day hanging out with their friends (as much as a 4 year old and a 20 month old can) at birthday parties.

I know I have groaned about this before - kids parties at nit-pits (soft play centres with loud music and vast amounts of matting, netting and slides). This though was a particularly bad day, which went:
11:15am to 1:15pm Party 1 for Master A (venue A)
2:30pm to 4:30pm Party 2 for Master A (venue B)
4:30pm to 6:30pm Party 3 for Missy A (venue B)

However both the Averages loved it. They were tired but happy, even after consuming several tonnes of birthday cake. So I really shouldn't complain, should I ..... despite the ringing in my ears?

Spider jig

2011-10-26T20:41:00.001+01:00

Does anyone else do a special dance when they spot a spider near them? You know, a kind of highland jig with added arm waving.

Last night I hopped out of bed and saw a black squiggle on the floor, following which I danced (my special spider dance) all the way to the bathroom (and maybe there was a little whimpering). Mr A did the brave thing and picked it up, but before he disposed of it he had to show me..........

.......... it was a lovely clump of thread!

Days like these .....

2011-10-24T20:26:00.001+01:00

I just love these warm autumnal days. This weekend we walked for miles, collecting chestnuts and any other bugs, grubs or curiosities the children found.

Mr A admiring the copice

We had a great time kicking the leaves.....

Missy A with her glo-faster stripes

And I got time to try out my fig roll recipe (yes, we still have several tonnes of figs to devour). Despite the thick biscuit, they were lovely (note to self - must roll thinner). I have tried a different version of the filling using brandy so that it can be kept (like mincemeat). I will post up the recipe if it works and tastes nice!!

Stress at 3? There's no hope for the rest of us.

2011-10-17T19:31:00.000+01:00

When giving a stern warning to Master A, he said,
"I wont get a sticker now because you told me off. I'm under stress!"

Where on earth has he learnt that!? It was hilariously funny and as a result he managed to worm his way around me with his big brown eyes..... earning himself a sticker for entertainment value.

An Average Sunday evening

2011-10-16T21:13:00.001+01:00

High Tea

2011-10-11T20:57:00.003+01:00

I am preparing for two gatherings at the moment. The first is the get together of the Averages with a lovely family that we haven't seen in a while. The second is Master As birthday party at the beginning of November. Quite frankly the birthday party is a whole post in itself so this one is dedicated to the preparations for our friends this weekend.

I am preparing a "high tea". There are several reasons for this; it looks very special whilst looking like you have spent several days preparing it, kids will love it, and it can all be done in advance of everyone arriving.

So whats on the menu?

Sandwiches:

On a mix of brown and white bread (some sarnies can be made with a slice of both), tuna and cucumber, cucumber, salmon with cream cheese and dill, salmon and watercress, egg, egg and watercress.

All sandwiches are best made with non salted butter spread on each slice of bread. The crusts will be cut off of course, they will be cut into dainty triangles and arranged on a tiered cake stand.

Salad:

On account of the fact we have more tomatoes than a ketchup factory I am doing one of my pretty tomato salads. Admittedly you wouldn't have one of these in a traditional high tea.

Cakes:

Quite a selection of mini cakes, some of which I will make and some that I will buy. But if you don't have time to bake then buy, there is nothing to be ashamed of - it's mainly about the occasion. This week we will have: fresh cream pastries (purchased), bakewell tarts, individual battenburg (purchased), individual banoffee pies, a variety of individual sponge cakes.

Tea:

On account that my guests dont like "posh" tea, I shall not be brewing a beautiful Dareeling or any of my other tea delights. We are having a standard tea, still loose of course and brewed in a pot. If I were being really attentive (and had more than one tea pot), I would have several pots with several teas for choice.

*****

If you were to buy everything needed, it would cost about £20 for 8*.

Use old mismatching china cups and saucers, cake stands and tea set. Pick up these things from charity shops so that if one of the children has a smashing time, it doesn't matter! Also it adds to the 'specialness' (if that's a word) of the occasion. I love to use sugar lumps and have sugar tongs. Old teaspoons add to the effect as well. All this might sound a bit fussy, but it really doesn't have to be. Just fill a box with all these things and get it out when you are having a high tea. If you are frugal enough and find some bargains you could set yourself up with a setting for 8 at about £15 like I did (good haggling at a boot sale might see you with something for much cheaper!).

Kids just love the sense of occasion, drinking from proper tea cups (even if you don't give them tea!) and being able to pick what they want (I put the lot on the table and it is a free for all).

So, go on, have a high tea and help bring back a lovely tradition.

* Based on my purchases from Ocado. And yes we have gone back to using them after much dissatisfaction with Asda!! Again, that is a whole other post!

More fruits of our labour

2011-10-05T21:36:00.000+01:00

It has been a good few days since I have made a post, but I have been sooo busy with making stuff from the gluts we have that I have barely had time to tap a key.

Tomatoes:
I have made plenty of tomato salads and chutney. This years chutney is a little different (well I cant bore the receivers of the Christmas hamper with the same goodies) as it is made entirely from Citrina tomatoes... click here to check out my Yummy Yellow Chutney.

Courgettes:
My last post was about a neglected courgette that ended up as a marrow. Well I found something to do with it. Searching around some other foodie blogs, I came across this recipe for marrow cream. My marrow wasn't quite as great so I just changed the quantities accordingly. I think it will taste great as a tart filling.

Damson Jam:
We finally got started on creating jam. Damson jam is so quick and easy to make and can be done by a novice.... give it a go.

And a final glut surprise:
Fig Jam. Sound vile, but is beautifully sweet. For the first time in the two years we have had the fig tree, we have ripe figs..... and plenty of them. In one picking we had 5kgs!! We run the risk of spending the next few weeks on the loo! We are tying out a few other fig recipes so I will post up if I manage to create something delightful. Here is a rare glimpse of Mr A picking the figs. He is wearing an apron as it had a pocket on the front!

This week I'm grateful for..... a big'un

2011-09-30T20:03:00.000+01:00

Okay, okay this isn't about the courgette (yep, it was a courgette, now marrowesque.... I didn't see it growing under the Jurassic leaves of the plant and between the hoards of other courgettes), nor is it about the size of the courgette really. This post is an appreciation for the fact that the Averages have the space, time and inclination to grow our own.

I love the fact that living in town, we still are able to wander outside and gather all the ingredients we need for accompaniments to our meals.

Not everyone is able to or wants to do it, but I am grateful that I (and the Average offspring) can and do. It gives me a warm, satisfied feeling.

Oh...any suggestions of what to do with the marrow will be gratefully received. Clean ones please!!!

This is part of Maxabella Loves bloghop, this week hosted by Lemon Rhodes

My baby isnt my baby any more (a tail of realisation)

2011-09-26T21:13:00.001+01:00

How do I know?

1. She is wearing proper pajamas. Through last winter she was wearing the all-in-one suits, and then through the summer just a nappy. So rather abruptly she is wearing proper PJs. Missy A looks so big.

2. She now has a pair of knitted boots. Well I love a boot; it's no secret. She loves my boots and shoes and cant resist the urge to check out the goodies in the bottom of my wardrobe. So, I finally indulged in some for her. She was (as they say up north) 'made-up'.

3. She is beginning to use the potty. Before her bath of an evening, she has a sit down and a little squirt. Mr A and I are in a little in shock. Master A was two and a half before he would go near a potty and then there were tears and tantrums for months (he was a little stressed out too).

Fruits of our labour 2011

2011-09-22T20:08:00.003+01:00

I have been promising to post up some recipes for a few weeks now. Anyway I know this looks like I have gone bonkers and locked myself in the kitchen. But here are the highlights from the pickings of the Average garden:

Well this actually is the result of last years rich pickings..... 5 litres of damson gin.

Easily made with 2lbs damsons, 1.5lbs granulated sugar, bottle gin and a big jar (we use a traditional sweet jar) to put it all in.

Two lots of this made the amount seen in the picture. Mmmmmmm. Put in a jar, prick the fruit and leave until next year.

This one is a runner bean chutney. Click here for the recipe. This makes a great alternative to all of those other pickle you might make for Christmas.

A beautiful pickle..... Cucumber, courgette and dill pickle. Follow this link.

And finally, a messy one. Loads of luscious Elderberry cordial. It is Christmas in a single sip! For the details on how to make this juice, click here.

Autumnal

2011-09-20T20:53:00.002+01:00

In the past week I have realised. We have gone from the glorious warm days of summer to the chilly mornings and drawn-in evenings of autumn. I like autumn, in fact I love autumn. I don't like rain though..... I have curly hair and the rain plays havoc with my locks (I end up with a fuzzy electrocuted look).

Anyway, I was busy sorting out my wardrobe at the weekend and felt the urge to put away my sun hats which were lined up along the row of hooks. They have been replaced by my scarf collection. By the turn of winter, these will be joined by a selection of hats.

I have been going through the motions with life and it was a clearing of a wardrobe that alerted me to the change of season.

I must look up more.

Dear So and So

2011-09-15T21:03:00.002+01:00

Dear Mrs Average,

I'm not ignoring you. Honestly I'm not. It's just that I (the real me) is having a hectic time and by the time I have a few moments to sit and pen a few lines... my brain has given out. This is not an excuse.

Yours, Mrs Run-ragged

*****

Dear Master A,

I love you. Could you just remind me though? When we had a "little chat" yesterday about not showing your bottom to staff, parents and other children at nursery, where exactly did I say, feel free to show your willy off instead?

With love, your eternally embarrassed mother

P.S I think we might be due another "little chat"

*****

Dear Missy A,

My darling, I cannot leave you out. Whilst you are peaceful, could we discuss your dummy? Why does it drop out in the night, and why cant you find it yourself, and why does someone (mostly your father) have to trot down the handing to pop it back in? Can you not just do without?

With love, a regretful mother (well, I shouldnt have given it to you in the first place!)

*****

Dear car,

Stop goading me. I have made my decision and I am going to stick with it. You are going to go. The children go to nursery and I go to work, within a mile radius of our house. You are an expensive commodity and you have to admit, you are getting on a bit now resulting in you draining our bank account in repairs. I have swapped you in for a set of good waterproofs for which I do feel guitly (and a bit apprehensive). You have been good to us; you have taken us on holidays and been there for the first ride after the birth of the Average offspring.

Farewell, Mrs Supafit (well I will be when I walk everywhere!)

*****

Dear Haribo,

What drung goes into the Tangfastics? I have eaten a whole packet and I dont even really like them.

Regards, (sorry cant talk, have my mouth full)

Oh balls

2011-09-11T21:32:00.001+01:00

I have been a little lapse this week, I'm afraid. It isn't the lack of things to say (good grief, I never have a lack of things to say), it's just that this first week back at the start of term has been knackering! That coupled with Mr A being away for most of it..... and I have not even had the desire to keep my eyes open passed 7pm, let alone type a coherent sentence.

Here I am on Sunday evening, wondering where the weekend went.....

Visitors yesterday
Missy A doing quite a nasty number two, which inadvertently got spread over her body and then over my duvet, resulting in an increase in washing and ironing
Making damson, vodka and rum gin
Decanting last years damson gin
Making some pickles and chutneys (I will write up recipes for this years Christmas hamper goodies at some point this week, which I hope will inspire you to make your own)
Selling all our clutter on eBay

I shall leave you on this wet and windy evening with a little tale of the dangers of children's toys:
Mr A was putting away a walker we have for sale on eBay. I passed it to him at the steps of the cellar. Then I heard, "How does this fold u.......agh...(followed by a series of muttered expletives). I peered around the door to find him grasping the meet and two veg. The walker leg had swung back and taken him by surprise.

I think the toy was just giving us its final farewell, it spent several months at the beginning of the year running us over and irritating us with its noise....

Ah Bless

2011-09-05T20:02:00.000+01:00

It was the first day back for all the children at my school today.... after 6 weeks of floating around the beautiful old building on my todd, I have had to share it will almost 500 children (and we have just started a major rebuild). Anyway today was a little stressful to the extent that I have had to indulge in Nutella on brown bread. There are two things wrong with that, hence showing my desperation, (1) we have run out of chocolate so I have substituted half a tub of the spreadable stuff (2) brown bread...if you must eat Nutella, you should only have it on white bread - its the law.

Anyway after a little Nutella therapy, I thought I would share a few things that master A has said over the past few days. Things that will make you smile and has helped me brush away todays trials and tribulations.

#1:
Mr A and I were talking about the veg growing in the garden.
Master A: "Don't forget we have submarines".
Mr A and I looked blankly at each other.
Master A: "You know, submarines" - pointing to a plant.
Me: "You mean aubergines".
Master A: "That's what I said".

#2:
Master A: "Your nail varnish looks like bogies"

#3:
Master A: "That top makes you look thinner"
Me: "Does that mean I normally look fat?"
Master A "Yep"

#4:
We are all sitting eating a Sunday roast.
Master A: " So Daddy, tell me about death".

#5:
Master A: "Mummy, Holly's mum has a baby in her tummy".
Me: "Yes, she has".
Master A: "How did it get there?"
Me: Cough, choke.
Mr A: Giggles.

Mrs Average is 1 today

2011-08-30T19:44:00.002+01:00

Its my first anniversary. This time last year I was agonising over what I should put in my first post - what do I say, how do I say it, will I upset anyone. Thankfully I got into the swing of it and now the words are [usually] as free flowing as a bottle [or two] of vino.

I started this Blog after spending years keeping journals and diaries, promising myself I would write them up into something that made sense. I am not sure that it all makes sense at times, but hey I'm having fun doing it and all the time it isn't a chore, I will keep tapping away. I could still do better, I forget most things I intend to Blog about (but I have remembered to get a notebook, which I mostly forget to have with me) and my photos are crap (decent camera required - note to Mr A if you are reading).
The biggest surprise though is that still the only 'non-virtual' person who knows I have a Blog is the long suffering and neglected Mr A! I'm not sure if I have kept it quiet because I didn't know whether I would keep it up or if I wanted complete anonymity.
But to all virtual and non-virtual family members, friends, work colleagues and acquaintances, many thanks for the inspiration over the past year.

And finally some stats:
1 = year old this Blog is
150 = posts written
3 = blogovers completed (this is the final one - promise - courtesy of Kevin and Amanda)
57 = average spelling errors I make whilst writing a post (thank heavens for spellchecker)
850 = estimated amount of hours spent writing and preening Blog
2 = book ideas developed as a result of Blogging

Another poxy weekend

2011-08-23T12:51:00.002+01:00

Recall, about a year ago when I talked about the Average offspring and their mild case of Chicken Pox (click here for the gory story) ...... well here we go again. Mater A bless him is having a second stab and he has a splattering of the "chicken pops" as he calls them, all over.

Despite being a little grumpy (but who can blame him) he is on good form and we are on a roll with making stuff...well I have three days off that I were not expecting so I might as well make the most of it. So I have tackled the housework with my little helper. Then we created this years batch of Runner Bean Chutney.

On to making some cordial, some pickles, jam and damson gin. I could get used to being an at home mum. Maybe Missy A will have a second round of the spotty illness so I can spend some more poxy time at home!!

This week I'm grateful for..... a fix

2011-08-19T20:19:00.001+01:00

No, no I haven't turned into a junkie, well not by modern day standards. Coffee was banned as an illegal substance a few hundred years ago. Anyway I digress.

Do you ever have days where you are on at least your 4th cup of coffee (or tea for some) before you manage to get going? This week has been like that for me. Usually I can have one may be two cups in a day and then survive on water or herbal tea.

My problem started on Monday when I needed 3 cups before 10am and then it went downhill from there. I cant even possibly confess to how badly downhill. I even have had coffee after the children are in bed (unheard of).

Now wouldn't you think that I would then have trouble sleeping? No, absolutely not. In fact I have slept like a log, every night. So coffee, may I say that this week I am truly grateful for your lovely existence.

oooo and in my favourite cup too.....

This post is part of the maxabellaloves bloghop...spread the sunshine.

Dont you think.....?

2011-08-18T21:13:00.001+01:00

Whilst watching the news tonight, Mikhail Gorbachev was waffling on about Putin. Mr A and I debated on where he has been over the past 20 years (and no, we don't have better things to discuss) .....has he really been playing Harold Bishop and living in Australia as Ian Smith?

Reverse Parking

2011-08-15T22:20:00.001+01:00

Today as Mr A and I were driving home, we waited in a narrow, one way street whilst a learner vehicle was parking. The car which was from a well known driving school (you know the one - do all sorts of insurance, breakdown recovery and sounds like an organisation supporting those with a drink problem) was parallel parking into a space on the left.

We did the usual scoff (although we were all learners once, we all do it) as the person reversed the car into the enormous (2 car lengths) space and still managed to get the off side wheels outside of the bay lines. To be honest the driver might as well have just parked in the centre of the road. Anyway, five more shunts meant that they were finally out of the way so that we could pass.

We drove past to discover..... there was only one person in the car!?

If the instructor can't park, it is no wonder as to why many people look like they have just abandoned their cars these days.

The arse award

2011-08-11T21:14:00.000+01:00

Tonight I was struggling with something to write a post about but I was saved by Bare Naked Mummy . Something for those of us that suffer with Bloggers block and end up rambling! hallelujah! So, as she commented on my last post and on account that awards are things for other Bloggers:

I'm [an irritating] little teapot

2011-08-09T20:29:00.001+01:00

Do you ever miss hear the words to songs? Now for weeks I have been agonising over one of the songs a pink teapot [what has to be the most irritating toy Missy A has been given] sings. The offending thing is shown here (courtesy of the Fisher Price website):

At the end of one of the songs I thought it said "trying not to swear". But after some intense listening, it evidently says "triangle and square". Well whatever, it makes me want to swear as it is Missy A's bestest toy at the moment.

The Average Zoo

2011-08-08T21:29:00.000+01:00

We are not going away this summer but have decided to spend a week visiting places and enjoying a slower pace of life. It is a possibility that we might go to the zoo as Missy A is getting interested in animals and probably doesn't remember the last time we went. However Mr A and I are a little worried that our children might not be able to leave.....

I'd like to think our children are well-mannered but they can be animals at times. Just this morning, Missy A had gulped her cup of milk down so fast that she burped with a milky follow-through over our bed. By some stroke of bad luck at the very same time, Mater A sneezed and the biggest boggie I have ever seen landed on him, me and my bed. Master A has also ate quite a bit of cabbage yesterday and so today it was either bravery or stupidity in getting into a confined space with him.

I love them both dearly, but sometimes I think they'd be more at home in the zoo.

Do you want to know how big my new office is?

2011-08-03T22:34:00.001+01:00

9.1 m²......... the same size as my bathroom!

Nothing like valuing your staff by giving them a cupboard to work in. Thing is I have a perfectly good office that is more than twice the size, for which there is no alternative use!?

Fads of a foodie

2011-07-31T22:40:00.001+01:00

The Average family visited some friends yesterday so, as I never like to go anywhere empty handed, I whipped up a Banoffee Pie. I also made some chocolate chip buns for those who aren't that keen on the banoffee..... and that [it may surprise you] also includes me!

I really enjoy making the banoffee as it gives me a sense of satisfaction creating it, but the thought of eating it makes my stomach churn. All those different components in one dish???

It is a perfect example of food that I am "fussy" about. When I say food, I tend to mean desserts. I am not really a dessert eater - give me a block of cheese and a good port, and I am happy. The particular issue I have with desserts is that on the whole they tend to be lots of random ingredients thrown into a dish, for example:

Trifle - I like jelly, fruit, the lady finger biscuits, the sweet cream, the custard, the hundreds and thousands and even the Sherry. But why, oh why put it all into the same dish?

Tiramisu - essentially a chocolate and coffee version of trifle (although I concede these ingredients actually work well together)
Spotted dick (or any dish) with custard - I love the pud and even serve me a dish of hot custard alongside, but do not expect me to eat the two in the same bowl!

Pavlova - love fruit, love meringue and like the cream, but I don't want them in the same cake

..... and don't even get me started on the content of a Black Forrest Gateaux.

Tiaras and tantrums

2011-07-29T22:39:00.001+01:00

What a week. So many decisions to make about what to do with my career that I am exhausted. A boss that was prepared to bargain to keep me and potentially an excellent job offer.

In the end it worked out for the best and looking back, I don't know why I put myself through it. So by a twist of fate, I am staying in the job I have and my boss has said that I can have a substantial pay rise (if you pay child care it doesn't pay to work these days!).

It was a job I wanted six months ago and one I never thought I would get. Its fate. I saw the job advertised by accident, applied, waited two months before being called for an interview and got it. Now it seems as if it is really meant to be.

But it has made me realise that I still need to make time to follow my dream - even fate needs a nudge sometimes. I want to write and so will work towards that by first enrolling in a writing course.

I think I had run out of steam recently; with life in general. [It might be a cliche, but is so true] Life is too short. So, Mrs A has had a reality check!! This Wonderwoman is going to dust down her satin tights and red knee highs (I don't tend to wear the tiara as it doesn't stay in my hair whilst whizzing around!!).

Final Touches

2011-07-26T20:47:00.000+01:00

Master A's bedroom has been "finished" for some time. However we still hadn't found anything we liked to adorn the walls. with white and blue walls, it was looking rather uninspiring. Over the past few months we have added some postcards and photos, but it was slow. And then..... I had a flurry of creativity!

So:

A cheap frame, the left over paint from the walls and the purchase of some cardboard letters and dah dahhhhh...... and alphabet picture. I had searched for a plain and simple alphabet poster for Master A to learn his letters, but everything that I saw was covered in pictures and patters. So I made my own for a £5.

Next:

A (well two to be exact) grey framed magnetic boards which I think cost £1 each on eBay a year or two ago, transformed into.....

......red framed ones which match the red and blue theme. Nothing a can of spray paint couldn't deal with!

And finally some pictures that I didn't have much to do with..... I only framed them! Well the Pudseys like them!

It was fine after all

2011-07-23T21:42:00.000+01:00

Despite having a yellow love letter from the local Parking Services, for being 5 minutes late back to my car after taking the children swimming (when the attendant saw me struggle out with two children and a large bag, he did look suitably sheepish), I have some good things to share:

Got an interview for a job I might actually like, doing something worthwhile..... watch this space.
Master A wrote the letters 'F' 'D' and 'H' unaided and unsolicited.
Missy A had her second haircut and didn't moan or flinch..... and I didn't need to resort to bribery.
I was given a very good British red wine that is more than drinkable (and no I'm not being paid for the advert, I just liked it)!

A List

2011-07-20T22:38:00.000+01:00

I don't want to be bragging but I have had two days on the trot where I have managed to get everything done on my list. I know what it is like to go to work and spend all day rushing about only to get home and discover that I haven't actually done anything constructive. So for those who have not had a constructive day, this isn't meant to sound like I am bragging, but I cant help help sounding like I am bragging. Ok, ok I'm bragging.

Yesterday it was a bit touch and go.....I was hammering towards the end of my list of things to do (all bits and pieces that I needed to get out of the way before starting the big projects) when I found a list that I had started last Thursday..... and hadn't finished (d'oh!). But by the end of the day I recovered myself and finished both lists. In fact I did so well in finishing my list, that I had time to write my list for today!!

I was off to a slow start this morning but by 3pm I had finished my today list, and again managed to write my list for tomorrow. I am on a roll.

I organise my time quite carefully. I don't like routine too much but our lives are dictated to by work and nursery. Because our lives are so busy and I still want to have time to spend with the children(!!) we make sure that our work diaries are synchronised and that we have lists to work from. I have three lists in all (1) to do today list - I limit myself to 5 things that I must get done (plus other things that I'd like to get done) which are a mix of work, children and other commitments (2) a medium term list - later this week or over the next few weeks (3) a long term list - things that need to be done in a month to three months.

If I don't write is down, it doesn't get done. By trade I am a project manager and like a Gannt chart or list (or two) to work from....Or maybe my brain is frazzled from parenthood and its the only way I can cope!?

How do you organise yourself? Are you a list maker, do you just remember, are you unable to operate without your i-Phone, or do you have a fab PA? Let me know your secrets.

Mrs Average has had a makeover

2011-07-17T22:14:00.000+01:00

Well, the Blog, not me (although it would be great if I could also have a full service for a day!!).

It has been very cleansing and therapeutic, like decorating my house, only much cheaper and less energetic!! Anyway I hope you like the new, fresh look of Observations of Mrs Average.

Model mum (a hem)

2011-07-13T21:15:00.000+01:00

It has been a busy old week; making plans for my future career, mopping the brow of Master A who keeps developing a temperature (without any other symptoms), and generally being the domestic goddess, perfect wife and mother.

Anyway, next week is the end of the school term and, although the little Averages will be in nursery throughout the summer hols, Master A has an end of term party. Some of the children in his room will be going to school so it will be a lovely event to celebrate their time together. He has been with some children for 3 years.

Well as all perfect parents, I shall be helping the little man make cards for his leaving friends, I shall be whipping up some culinary delights, and I shall be ~~popping into my sewing room to knock up a fancy dress outfit~~ flicking open the laptop and surfing eBay to find a suitable fancy dress outfit.

I wish I could sew... last week I sewed a button (yes, a button) onto some combats and twice. After it fell off for the third time I put it in my button pot. Actually in hindsight, perhaps my waistline needs working on and not my sewing skills?! As you can tell I am not a model mum in either sense of the word.

It's not just me.....

2011-07-06T21:08:00.001+01:00

Ever put the milk bottle back in the microwave instead of the fridge, dirty washing in the toilet instead of the washing basket or got out of bed in a hurry at the weekend thinking its Wednesday and you have over slept?! I have to confess these things have happened recently and I'm sure there must be others like me.

I've been a little under the weather over the past week so haven't been awake enough to Blog in the evening but I have collected a couple of observations that surely must demonstrate I am not the only one that does the silly things.... and I don't count going upstairs and not remembering what I went there for (that happens quite frequently in our house).

Anyway:

I got on an escalator to go up to the first floor in a well known High Street store. The woman who had followed me to the foot of the stairs was busy thumbing away on her Blackberry. I then watched her [have two attempts] to get on the escalator that was travelling down to ground floor.

A friend of mine had been clock watching at work as she had to leave promptly at 4:15pm. She got a bit involved in what she was doing and then quickly glanced at the clock to what she thought said 4:20pm. She grabbed her coat and bag and then hurriedly left the building. Driving down the road she passed lots of children coming out of the local school and thought "They are late tonight". Then she glanced at the clock. It was 3:20pm not 4:20pm. Rather sheepishly she headed back to the office and stuck her head around the door of her boss to explain. The response? "That must have been very disappointing for you!". I bet it really was.

I was happily working away in my office last Tuesday when one of our consultants came breezing in, sitting down. I looked at her and she looked at me. Finally I said, "Aren't you here a day early?". She replied, "I thought we agreed to meet on Wednesday?". I think she wanted the ground to open up when she realised.

Have you done something silly this week?

No cloud and a silver lining!

2011-06-27T20:46:00.000+01:00

I was too tired to post last night as the Average family had taken full advantage of the second day of the UKs annual two-day heat wave by spending the day at the coast. Us Averages aren't beach goers (even our factor 50 was struggling) but our beach of choice is beautiful (all year) and had a long, flat promenade that stretches for miles along the coastline. Whitstable. The home of the oyster and other such seafood delicacies.

We had a specific purpose; Master A was going to ride his bike. Missy A has a trike with a push along steering handle (from which I dangled my two Phil and Ted pannier bags with all the items we would need). She sat back nonchalantly in the seat with her feet up, drinking her water.... So off we set with picnic and two bikes, and what a glorious day we had.

We stopped to eat by a groin (y'know the wooden beech defenders) and from where we sat I shall give you the following rare glimpse of my Averages. And if you are wondering what Mater A has on his head, its his cycling hat!!

Because I was just dreaming over such a lovely Average day out I had almost forgotten to refer to my post title. Of all the people Master A could have run over on his bike (and this chap was the only one he did run over)..... it was only David Essex!! I obviously made my apologies pretending not to have noticed who he was. I did however manage not to say, "oo I used to fancy you 20 years ago".

My starstruck response has seriously improved over the years. I could now retrospectively cringe about my history of embarrassing moments with the rich and famous.

I have a hazy memory of one fateful night in a restaurant in New Zealand. I dropped my knife on the floor and the man next to me picked it up. It was Anthony Hopkins. Well I obviously had no decorum that evening... I did a Hannibal Lecter impression at him!

In the same year (it must have been a bad one) I got in a lift with the then Chancellor Gordon Brown. He paused at the key pad and said, "I'm not sure which floor number to press, I'm not very good with numbers". I giggled like a teenager and said "Oh, that's funny". It was not at all funny, it wasn't even close to funny.

So David, if you are reading..... you had a lucky escape!!

Ever had an embarrassing starstruck experience?

Self Service Checkouts

2011-06-24T21:17:00.001+01:00

I think you are probably aware of where this post is going, but let me lead you there anyway.

Today Mr A and I went for a coffee, well as we hadn't seen each other for a week we thought a bit of 'us' time before picking up the offspring from nursery was a lovely idea. In order for us not to travel too far from the nursery we went to our local B&Q (other DIY stores are available) as they, believe it or believe it not, have a good coffee shop. Anyway due to the lack of people to watch in the cafe we turned our attention to the self service checkouts and debated the merits and costs savings attached to them. I can tell you are envious because we lead such an exciting life.

These bloomin' things irritate me immensely. My hatred of them increased tenfold when our local Tesco Express (other mainstream convenience food stores that stock 'half meals'* are available). I ever seem to only buy light items that don't register on the scales so when you put them in the 'bagging area' it results in that voice, which repeatedly gets louder, telling you that you must "PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA", before the whirling red light starts to flash urgently at a cashier. Also I find there is never enough space to put my shopping in the 'bagging area' and when I move the bag to make room for the next she starts shouting again "PLEASE REPLACE BAG IN BAGGING AREA". Either that or my items decide they don't want to be scanned resulting in a queue of tutters shuffling impatiently whilst the cashier rescues me. I avoid them.

Anyway I have digressed.....back to B&Q.

They have replaced two checkouts with 6 self serve tills (and yes our experience of them is the shouty lady). So they need 6 less checkout staff... a cost saving you would think. Well no.

They have one member of staff who hovers in the checkout area to help those being shouted at for not having placed the items in the bagging area.
They have added three security cameras above the self-serve area costing a fair whack to install and upkeep (they are actually almost person sized). Mr A and I reckoned they probably have employed an extra pair of eyes (and the rest of the person obviously) to monitor them.
And in busy times I have seen great swathes of staff ushering people who are self-serve shy to the checkout and help them do it.

A cost saving?? My arse!

Anyway any parent knows that self serve checkouts aren't conducive to the family outing experience. It is difficult to concentrate when your two children are fighting over the trolley whilst the shouty women tells you (8 times), to 'put the item in the bagging area' which isn't bloody big enough.

Well to all those stores who are contemplating putting in these irritating bits of kit ....DON'T. I would rather not chat to the spotty teenager who grunts throughout my transaction. Thank you.

* You can never buy a whole meal in one of these shops, just carious elements i.e. you want to have an afternoon tea and they stock only the scones or you want a roast and you can buy everything except gravy..... you get the picture.

Guilty pleasure confession

2011-06-23T20:08:00.000+01:00

Now I have talked before about my guilty pleasure. Over the past two months whilst Mr A has been away I have developed another. Thing is Mr A will have a final home coming in a couple of weeks and I will either have to go cold turkey or come clean.

What should I do?

Should I tell him that I'm addicted to Waterloo Road (and more specifically Robson Green) or do I just not watch it any more?

Courtesy of Digital Spy

Angel or Demon?

2011-06-18T21:52:00.000+01:00

As Master A and I were coming downstairs earlier today and he stopped and said to me,
"Mummy if you had wings coming out of your neck you would be able to fly down".

Perplexed for a moment, I realised what he was talking about and replied,
"Mummy isn't an angel so doesn't have wings".

He thought for a moment,
"Do all angels have wings?"

"Yes" I answered.

"I think mine are just invisible" he said (just as he tripped over his halo).

This week I'm grateful for....tweezers

2011-06-17T21:53:00.001+01:00

Otherwise I would look like Denis Healy.

Share your gratefulness at Maxabell loves Blog hop.

How not to behave in an interview.....

2011-06-14T22:17:00.000+01:00

Today I interviewed for the very important (on this occasion I'm not being sarcastic) role of Road Crossing Patrol Officer (Lollipop Lady/Man).

The first candidate was good (and got the job). The second, well he wasn't doing too well throughout.... but I knew he wouldn't get the job when he burped mid sentence. Yuk.

Have you forgotten something?

2011-06-13T22:03:00.000+01:00

I snuggled down into bed thinking to myself "I'm sure I needed to do something tonight". After a few minutes of enjoying the comfortable mattress and warmth of the duvet, I realised that I needed to pack Mr A's case as he is away again for the rest of the week.

Oh pants*. Don't you hate it when that happens!!??
So up I got again and packed his bag.

I can here many women cry, "get him to pack his own bag". Well I would, only whilst he is away I don't want him to be wearing screwed up clothes or have to wear the same under crackers for a week as he has forgotten to pack any fresh ones. I do believe in looking after my man..... just as he looks after me. Just wish I had remembered the job before I hit the sack.

* polite interpretation of my response

This week I'm grateful for..... finally having a reality check

2011-06-10T21:16:00.002+01:00

I have been having a groan and the odd moan about my life for a few weeks now. The displeasure of working for almost nowt, whilst running round dropping off offspring, picking them up, being too tired to play with them. Well, it came to me today (let's just say some straw and a camels back were involved), the answer that I already knew. Bollocks to working life (well at least a 9-5 job)..... watch this space as I feel the winds of change for the Averages.

Part of the lovely Maxabella loves Blog hop.

De-flip flop

2011-06-08T21:34:00.000+01:00

I have been wearing flip flops for years (not just flip flops, you understand - that would be cold in winter!; nor the same pair of flip flops - they would be knackered!). What i mean is, I've worn lots of flip flops in my life. But after nearly 30 years of happy flip flop wearing I realised how dangerous they could be.

On the way to pick up the Average offspring from nursery (a slow 10 minute walk), I managed to "de-flip flop" (fall out of them) no less than half a dozen times. In doing so, I put my back out trying not to fall over. I almost had to crawl through the door of the nursery in my agony. What was wrong with me? Where had my co-ordination gone? Had I forgotten how to walk?

I have worn some pretty outrageous footwear (well, I like a shoe) in my time: wedged, platform, stiletto, knee-high, short boot, completely impractical, trainers. Why would flip flops cause me a problem? Then I remembered the last time I caused myself a footwear-related injury?..... I fell over on the cobbles in Rochester High Street.....I was wearing flat ballet shoes!!

That's it, I'm going back to massively impractical shoes. Well, any excuse eh!?

Emotions

2011-06-06T21:21:00.001+01:00

What made me chuckle today?
Master A in the car..... "are we going around the brick?"
I think he meant ..... "are we going around the block?"

What touched me today?
Eddie Kidd finally finished the London Marathon. Anything is possible.
BBC News - Eddie Kidd

What made me sad today?
Only spending two hours with my children (and not proper time at that!). An hour in the morning whilst we got ready and an hour this evening after picking them up from nursery. Its no way to be.

What perplexed me today?
Why Master A had two pairs of pants on. He said that Daddy did it when he got him dressed this morning!!!?

What frustrated me today?
Work.

What made me happy today?
Realising Mr A is only away two nights this week.

What made me angry today?
Realising that last month, after taking my childcare out of my net salary, I earned £27 per week. When I took the job we could claim help with childcare, hence the massive salary cut to pursue a career change. The new government has decided that decent families like mine who work hard, shouldn't receive any help whatsoever!!! Its not worth the stress for my family - you might find a new Blog soon about Mrs Average being full time housewife and mother!?

What emotions are you feeling today?

Hairy monster?

2011-06-03T21:08:00.000+01:00

Today I walked past a sign in the window of a local women only beauty salon.

Threading:

Eyebrows £5

Full face £15

What are the local women? Furry faced monkeys? Do they really require removal of a whole face of hair?

Ok, I'm being facetious... but I do not happen to think that top lip, bottom lip and eye brows necessarily constitute "whole face".

Socks and sandals

2011-06-01T22:03:00.000+01:00

Sorry FiL A
Average Holiday 2007

I am sure that there have been thousands of blog posts about this very subject.....

So, could someone explain why people do it? Men in particular. Why, why, why? FiL Average does it all the time, with his brown sandals, beige socks, lilly white legs and pale shorts. It isn't a good look.

What prompted this outburst? It was a beautiful day today and I was out with Wednesday Friend. We spent most of the day raising an eyebrow over some quite fundamental fashion disasters (now, I don't pretend to be any kind of fashion angel) ....good weather seems to prevent people from glancing in the mirror before they leave the house. I don't want to see socks with sandals....just wear shoes instead.

At the school gate

2011-05-25T20:18:00.000+01:00

I might set up a new Blog about the things I hear outside the school in which I work. I'd call it "At the school gate". My God I hear some things, I see some things..... like the fight between two parents a few weeks ago. Sometimes I am never sure who are the children and who are the parents!! I am sure that I could post every day something that I have seen.

Anyway today's observation. Let me set the scene, playground full of children at pick up time.....
Parent 1 to Parent 2: Alright bitch
Parent 2 to Parent 1: Alright bitch

Call me a prude but its not the language/behaviour I would use in front of my children. So, what behaviour do you expect to see in the playground?

This week I'm grateful for.....my man

2011-05-21T23:08:00.000+01:00

He's home!

My family is together again

Home Alone

2011-05-19T21:48:00.000+01:00

Mr A finally arrives home after his third week away. I can wait. It will be good to have someone I can cuddle up to in bed, share a joke with, share a moan with, watch TV with and sit opposite whilst having a meal. These are the really fundamental things I have missed whilst he has been away. But another thing I have missed is his help as my co-parent.

I have had [albeit temporary] experience of single parenthood and I am officially knackered but in awe. In fact writing this post is depriving me of a few minutes of desperately needed sleep! Mr A and I have had time apart before, but life has changed - the children are older, we have new jobs, and now lack domestic help (my lady that does had to be my lady that didn't when I decided to change my career and early significantly less!) - are just some examples.

I am up with the lark, organising the preening and dressing of the two little Averages, as well as sorting myself out (which seems to take longer these days.....something about getting closer to the big 4 0). By 7:20am we are heading out of the door. By 7:50am the little Averages are in nursery and I am heading into work. At the end of the day I pick them up at 5:00pm and by 7:00pm they are both bathed and in bed. Then I do all the household stuff, water the garden and do the bins....blah blah

Now, I am super organised. Everything is packed in nursery bags and by the front door for the morning and I have an order of tasks to make it flow. It works ok. But if truth be told, ok or not, I wouldn't want to do this every day by myself. But there are people (men and women) who, through circumstance, do do the parenting role and work thing single handedly every day. Well this post is dedicated to you all.

So, some questions to single, working parents out there. I'd be interested to know how you organise yourself, what things you do to make it all easier and how you take time out for yourself. Mr A is off again on Monday so I shall try out some tips next week if anyone has some to offer.

Mrs Average's Herb Garden: Rosemary

2011-05-14T22:08:00.000+01:00

As I mentioned in my So many herb puns, so little thyme post, I intend to write about each of the herbs in my herb garden, including some helpful growing information, tips and recipes. I hope that I might inspire some of you to grow herbs in your window boxes, tubs or gardens so that you can use them fresh in your cooking. I love herbs and their versatility and my dream would be to own and run a herb nursery. I shall start my series of posts with one of my favourites; Rosemary.

It originates from the Mediterranean region. Its name has been derived from the Latin "ros marinus", which means "dew of the sea", due to the fact that it was first seen growing along the Mediterranean coastline. It needs plenty of space to grow (so cant be done in a window box nor a pot - they make good hedges) but will grow almost anywhere as long as the soil is well drained. The needles of the herb are very pungent (suck some cuttings into your hoover every week and it will make your house smell nice when you vacuum) making this herb most favourable for meat dishes such as stews or roasted meats.

It is famed for its ability to stimulate the mind, enhance the memory and improve concentration. James Wong has a really good recipe for rosemary wine which helps enhance memory (any excuse to drink a little vino) - bruise (bash 'em about a bit) five sprigs of fresh rosemary and steep them in one bottle of good-quality white wine.

Rosemary also has other medicinal qualities as it contains lots of vitamins and minerals (including vit A, vit C, iron and vit B6). Its reported health benefits are so numerous that I could devote a whole blog site to it, but include being [most things anti] antibacterial, anti fungal, anti-oxidant, anti-inflammatory and helps with stimulating blood flow (so very good for skin care and to help delay baldness).

Fresh and dried rosemary contain the same nutrients but in different quantities - fresh rosemary is a good source of manganese and dry rosemary contains less manganese (it is lost through the drying process) but more calcium and iron. You will need to use more fresh rosemary than dried as the flavour intensifies on drying.

Our rosemary needed a good prune so Mr A set to work to make sure that the bush didn't lose shape. It will look a little bald for a few weeks but will fill out again soon. Refer to a good book (there are loads on the market) for tips on pruning as not doing it correctly will make it grow a funny shape. I don't intend on getting technical, so in short, when you chop a branch it will double sprout from that cut. However if you are just cutting a few sprigs, don't worry too much about how you cut it, as long as you get young shoots.

You can store fresh rosemary in the fridge for up to a week if you pop it in water. Drying rosemary is easy. Just pick and remove the needles and new shoots from the woody stems and leave in a bowl for a week, tossing regularly. I then put the needles into my herb mill but you can blitz in a mini food processor if you have one. Leave the milled rosemary for a couple more days to ensure that it has thoroughly dried. Then store in plastic bags or in a pot. Its important to remember that if you are not using the rosemary in a sprig, you should make sure that it is chopped finely (as it can be tough to eat and need removing from your mouth!).

And finally..... my recipe for rosemary nuts which makes 12 little gifts:

500g mixed (plain) nuts

15g unsalted butter

3 tsp clear wildflower honey

2 tsp Cornish sea salt

2 tbsp fresh rosemary, finely chopped

1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

Preheat the oven to 180c
Spread nuts on baking sheet and toast until just golden, about 10-15 minutes
Melt butter, honey and sea salt and then fold in the rosemary and cayenne
Tip nuts into mixture to coat
Cool before decanting into jars or wrapping in parchment

Enjoy.

Nil Poi Perception

2011-05-14T20:37:00.000+01:00

Bless him. Master A caught a 30 second glimpse of the Eurovision song for Bosnia and Herzegovina. His response before walking out of the room:

"Oh dear!"

I wasn't really paying attention but I can safely say that they were probably not very good.

You're Fired

2011-05-10T22:05:00.000+01:00

Love it or hate it, a new series of The Apprentice has begun. Another series of people making complete arses of themselves by being arrogant and telling us all about the "stuff" they have "achieved", usually by the time they were 18. However I feel compelled to watch it, despite cringing from under my duvet at the candidates and the waffle that dribbles from their mouths. So, I apologise in advance of the posts that I will be compelled to write.

I really am the post-it note Queen

2011-05-03T20:40:00.000+01:00

Mr A started his stint in Germany today and already I am missing him. But he has left me little notes in various places across the house, which brings a little smile to my lips.

Today also saw my littlest Average move up into the toddler room at nursery. She has taken to walking very quickly so she now holds her own with some of the 2 year olds! Both little Averages have had a full day in nursery too ..... sometimes I wish they would pine for me but in my heart of hearts I know that I wouldn't want them to be upset at all. Anyway that is irrelevant as they both enjoy nursery so much I can barely prize them out of an evening!

I will leave everyone with this cute picture of Master Average. He went to sleep holding the note that Daddy left him.

A dress

2011-04-30T22:23:00.000+01:00

I must mark this occasion by a blog. We gave Missy A her first dress (well two to be exact). She might be a few months over a year old but we still hadnt managed to bring ourselves to put her in a dress. Our excuse has been that they aren't practical for crawling girls. So now she is fully competent on two feet we decided to splash out and get her some proper little shoes and a dress. It was a shock seeing her in a dress to be honest (she is a real go getting, dirt attracting child so leggings and jeans just seem to suit her) but she did look very sweet. My little girl.

This week I'm grateful for..... time.

2011-04-29T22:08:00.001+01:00

Something that simply slips by and something we take for granted.

But over the past week I have:

Spent time with the Average offspring. Proper time. We went out with friends and enjoyed being at home doing crafts and playing in the garden. Mr A has been able to spend lots of one to one time with the children recently so it has been nice to spend some just me and them time whilst Mr A was out. You just have to be a selfish mum sometimes.
Watched a whole film, from start to finish without any interruptions. One of my favourite films, "The Village" was on TV so I took the opportunity to watch it again.
Found the bottom of the ironing basket. Not glamorous but I felt a real sense of satisfaction as I popped the last ironed garment in the wardrobe.
Pampered myself. Big bubble bath, hair removal, nails and face pack. I'm sure you get the picture. I cant remember the last time that I managed to clean my teeth without having an offspring dangling off of a leg or Mr A deciding to spray his deodorant. Bliss.
And today: I found I made the time to watch the Royal Wedding. Now I wouldn't call myself a Royalist and thought it wouldn't interest me, but we popped the TV on this morning and additively watched it. It was good to have the time.

I quite often get to the end of the week and wonder where it all went. So this week I am grateful that I have made time to do all these things and for once I can actually see where all the minutes went!

Part of the Maxabella loves bloghop.

Blankedy blank (but no cheque book and pen)

2011-04-27T21:34:00.000+01:00

My mind over the past week has been a little like my computer at work (after the IT technician "fixed it"). Blank, not a sausage - no email, diary entry nor contact!! Gulp.

Occasionally I suffer from Bloggers Block but it has been particularly bad. Maybe it is because Mr A is off to Germany next week, maybe it is work...still mad. I'm not sure but I need to give myself a slap off with a wet fish and get back into it. Its a Bank Holiday weekend this week so I endeavour to take time out for Blogging - reading and writing.

To AV or not to AV? That is the question.

2011-04-18T22:24:00.000+01:00

Let's be clear this isn't keeping me up at night, but I am thinking about whether to be a Yes-er or a No-er in the forthcoming referendum. Should we change to the alternative vote system, like those down under?

I'm not sure it would benefit us that greatly. Wouldn't it just be easier to make it a legal requirement for everyone to vote so we have a better turnout and therefore a better voice of the people? That way people wont just be going about their daily life (a) with apathy (b) moaning about politicians when it all goes wrong (even when they couldn't be bothered to get off their arse to vote). Let me ponder some more.....

Home improvement disasters

2011-04-14T20:53:00.000+01:00

No, not mine. My "currently in progress" renovation project is on hold whilst Mr A is being a domestic God so I couldn't possibly comment on what is happening at Average Towers.

However I am more than happy to mention the travesty that is the renovation of a house going on along the road. As a bit of context, Average Towers is in a road flanked by terraced housing built just before the turn of the 20th century. We still have traditional kerb stones and its pretty nice so why did the owner of this property felt the need to paint the front of his house two tone blue I will never know. The blue used is not in keeping with the era and it stands out like a sore thumb. To boot, whilst Mr A was being nosey earlier he spotted that a little canopy had arrived over the front door today. A transparent plastic canopy, which doesn't scream Victorian period feature! Thing is it isn't even practical as our road is a wind tunnel and should it be raining and you are fumbling for your keys by the door, you will still get wet.

I'm just waiting for the stone cladding.....

A pain in the arse. Literally.

2011-04-10T19:54:00.000+01:00

Let me set the scene.

The warm April sun pounding into our south facing garden. Mr A and I with the Average offspring eating our lunch under the shade of the parasol. The offspring are sat at their lovely little table; a mini teak table that we purchased from John Lewis two summers ago.

From John Lewis website
(child not of Average descent but a model)

When Missy A got up to have a post-lunch romp around, Master A said. "Daddy, that chair needs gluing". After some inspection Mr A agreed that the chair needed a little attention as the back bit holding the seat slats in place was a little wonky.

Later on, post offspring afternoon nap, Mr A was hoovering out the playhouse and I was slapping sun cream on Master and Missy A. Well Missy A was being her usual uncompliant self so I thought I would perch on a chair. I think nothing of sitting on one of their little chairs; they are good quality and strong.

Well I am sure you can guess what happened next. A large crack was followed by a clutter of wood which was topped off with a great squeal from both me and Missy A. Mr A was still hoovering the playhouse at the end of the garden and only came running when Master A had alerted him to the fact that I was in heap by the house. Finally I was helped to my feet but my God the tops of my leg were sore. Turns out they are scuffed, scratched and gouged.... I could barely sit down!! I have stopped short of posting up a photo of my mangled posterior. Mr A didn't think he could get a wide enough lens.

If only I had been being filmed..... that £250 from You've Been Framed would have been very handy! It would have been worth the pain.

This week I'm grateful for..... degreasing cleaning products

2011-04-09T09:34:00.001+01:00

After Master A had stuck 100 little pieces of card all over his bedroom using a Nivea (other brands are available) lip salve. Essentially it is Vaseline (other brands of petroleum jelly available) and without the wonder of some good degreaser, it would have taken forever to remove. The bedroom will still need a repaint though!

Although we did our telling off and told him he needed to look after things (it is his first case of being 'unkind' to his belongings), Mr A and I have had quite a chuckle about it. When Mr A went into the bedroom, he said it was almost a scene from a horror film as his eyes relaxed to see cards stuck on everything.

Part of the lovely Maxabella loves blog hop.

So many herb puns, so little thyme

2011-04-06T20:59:00.001+01:00

All this working lark seems to be getting in the way of my Blogging. That and being mum of two, good wife to Mr A, domestic goddess.... the list goes on....

Well it hasn't all been work, children, work, husband, work, ironing. I have had a little time to indulge in my greatest passion. My herb garden. I have been nurturing some seedlings and planting up the little specimens that I purchased (well i have to have instant gratification too).

So here is how it started..... looking a little bit depleted after winter. It's not a bit herb garden but it give us everything we need. We don't restrict growing our herbs to just the herb garden, but we have planted more (usually ones we don't use as often) throughout the rest of the garden.

So, what's there now:

Sage, a real must. This year I have planted a new one as the last one got far too woody and the leaves were less flavourful.

Purple sage. The flavour isn't different but looks great in salads and on pizzas for contrast.

Good old mint.

And a chocolate mint... it reminds me of Fry's Peppermint Cream.

Marjoram (or oregano). This plant we have had for years and it grows absolutely rampantly! I have to cut it right back at least a couple of times per year. We also have pot marjoram (which has a darker leaf) and we grow in a pot, but you don't have to.

Fennel. We grow this for the seeds not to eat the bulb. This thing grows rampantly too and gets to about 2 metres tall (to the bottom of the branches of our fig tree), and that is with cutting it!!!

Chives. This plant has been with us for a few years (and was even buried under a builders bucket during some renovation works) and comes back thick and fast year on year. I have some seedlings for some extra clumps because we use so much.

Winter Savory and Thyme at the forefront here but you cant really distinguish from the picture. In fact they are pretty interchangeable in cooking.

And Lemon Thyme.

A must have, Rosemary (Miss Jessop's Upright).

Also we have a beautiful standard Bay Tree, expertly topiarised (not sure that's a word) by Mr A and his secateurs.

I have seedlings for Parsley (flat and curly), Coriander, Dill and Basil... I cant wait until they can be planted out. Usually by the summer the herb garden looks all wild and full of gorgeous smells. Watch this space for a photo or two. I plan to put up some recipes for using all of these herbs and some of the others I have growing. so hopefully this will encourage you to grow some of these delights, even if you just have a window box.

Leader or manager?

2011-03-31T22:09:00.000+01:00

I'm a people watcher and have been watching my new boss, just to see how she works. It is something I tend to do when I start a new job, suss out my manager, my staff and all of the other people I will have to work with on a daily basis. This is my management style. I like to be armed with all the information and know the personnel. In my experience it enables me to be more effective.

My boss is a little complicated, mainly because she is clearly overworked and I know she is really feeling it. So I don't think I am seeing the real her. In a meeting this morning I found myself wondering if she is a leader or a manager. I see flashes of both traits at different times. But I'm not sure you can be both, can you?

To me a leader is the charismatic person who is the face of the organisation and announces the bold decisions. A manager is the person who deals with the people and practical elements of the organisation to make it run effectively. This is why you get Managing Directors (the 'managers') and the Chief Executives (the 'leaders'). My ex-boss was a leader who could schmooze with the best of them. He was a shit manager. Me, I know I'm a reluctant leader (need a little more confidence you see) but I'm a damn good manager.

Do you know what you are?

This week I'm grateful for..... my bed

2011-03-25T20:20:00.000Z

It has been a long week and more than ever I am grateful for my comfy bed. It has many advantages; I can sleep there, watch TV without getting a stiff neck and of course I get a good cuddle with Mr A.

Today I need really need it. Last night I got up to both Missy A (she's teething) and Master A (he needed to go to the toilet and had seemingly had forgotten how he should achieve it). So I was shattered to start with. Then add that to the fact I had to put 60 people at risk of redundancy today. So its a quick glass of wine* and bed (and its only 8:30pm). I shall be making my "satisfied I'm in bed" noise.. you know, that "mmmmggghhhh" that you make as you snuggle in?!

* I am also grateful for wine but I am every week and if I keep putting up posts about it I, you might think I have some kind of problem.

Part of Maxabella Loves Blog hop - pop over for a read.

A camper van?!

2011-03-23T19:55:00.000Z

If you recall back in January I screamed with despair of Master A's obsession with Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Well just when I thought it was safe, a sequel has been penned! Novelist and screen writer Frank Cottrell Boyce was asked to write the sequel and the first of three is to be released in November..... exactly a year since Master A acquired the Chitty gift set which has caused an annoyance ever since!

However, I know that I will be buying the book and reading it to Master A.

Have a look at the new "phantasmagorical machine" which is a camper van and see what you think. I will reserve judgement until I have the book....BBC Website

Two bits of good news I just need to share

2011-03-22T19:46:00.000Z

Good news #1:
Mr A has a new job..... think he needed a new challenge after being a domestic God for a few months.

Good news #2:
Chatham Historic Dockyard has been placed on the UK list of sites which has gone to UNESCO for consideration for World Heritage Status. BBC News website

Congratulations one and all.

This week I'm grateful for..... springtime

2011-03-19T19:43:00.001Z

It was the first really glorious day of the year today. Clear blue sky, warm sun and cool breeze.

Time for planting up the herb garden. Its one of the reasons I love cooking so much - tasty herbs freshly picked.

Part of Maxabella loves bloghop. Wander over for a good read.

Overheard

2011-03-16T19:34:00.000Z

Me:

"Tut. He was fiddling around my back end earlier and I'm not sure what he did."

Colleague:

"Yes, he was sticking all sorts of things in there. He has probably put the wrong thingy into the wrong slot."

In case you were wondering, I was talking about my computer and the IT Manager! Too late though, someone had already overheard this part of the conversation and had raised an eyebrow. Well hey, it'll teach them to be listening to my conversations!

This week I'm grateful for..... pen and paper

2011-03-11T20:15:00.000Z

You may remember last week, I was grateful for a calculator in light of dodgy Excel spreadsheets (may I hasten to add, ones that my organisation had purchased!). Well this week, I am grateful for pen and paper (I couldn't find the abacus that I was threatening to use and I didn't have enough fingers and toes). This is because my calculator didn't have enough digit spaces on the screen. Some of us have to work into the millions, you know, Mr Casio.

Part of the weekly Blog Hop @ Maxabella loves

Apply yourself

2011-03-08T20:35:00.000Z

At the weekend I had the arduous job of shortlisting for a relatively low grade but important job in my team. It really is a sign of the times that I had to look through 56 application forms for a receptionist.

Toward the end of my 'big read' I was starting to loose the will to live. Not because I was bored, but because I was amazed at how many people put things into an application which were not helping to sell themselves!

So tonight I am going to educate you..... here are my top five tips for completing an application:

TIP 1:
Read the completion instuctions. If at the top it says, "write in capitals and use no more than on additioanl A4 sheet", DO AS IT ASKS. The shortlister doesnt have hours to decipher your application.  To be honest, in this day and age it would be better to submit an electronic version. They also havent got time to read reams of paper.

TIP 2:
When asked how many days you have had off sick during a certain time period and why, you DO NOT need to go into gory detail. "2 days for an injured toe" is fine. "2 days for an ingrowing toe nail that had gone black and needed surgically removing" is not.

TIP 3:
If there is a person specification, use it to construct your personal statement. Sometimes it is possible to use the specifications as headings but if not, you must refer to them in your text (preferably put key phrases in bold). Those reading it do not want to have to search through your waffle to find out if you match the skills or not.

TIP 4:
Socialising is not something that you should put in the "spare time and/or hobbies" section. If you like spending time with friends be creative with your words, such as " like throwing dinner parties" or "enjoy quiz nights".  Also dont be funny, its not the time nor the place.

TIP 5:
The important bits. Sign, date and make sure you have named suitable referees. I have seen plenty of unsigned applications and applications which name realtives or ambiguos people who may or may not be able to say that you exist.

My final thought is DO YOU REALLY WANT THE JOB? THEN FILL OUT THE DAMN FORM CORRECTLY!

And breathe.....

This week I'm grateful for ..... a calculator

2011-03-04T20:51:00.000Z

The Excel spread sheets I was working with had [politely put] "up the creek" formulas. Great in your first week in a job. Thankfully my trusty calculator got me back on the straight and narrow. Perhaps next week that will give up the ghost and I will have to use an.....

Part of Maxabella Loves blog hop so have a look at what others are grateful for this week.

Basket case

2011-03-04T20:30:00.000Z

As you know Mr A is currently a man of leisure and main carer and all round domestic God. I am starting to think he needs to get back to work. This evening he said to me as he was unloading the dishwasher,

"I have started to group the cutlery in the basket so it make it a more pleasant experience to unload".

I thought I was supposed to be the anal one!

Double take .....again

2011-03-01T20:57:00.000Z

Yesterday I did my new walk to work. Yesterday I had to rub my newly lasered eyes to see if the money had been worth investing. Today it happened again, which thankfully meant that I could not have dreamt it all yesterday.....

I observed two men leaving their houses (next door to each other) at exactly the same time. The houses were identical in colour and had the same curtains. I smiled to myself as I thought it was very "Stepford Wives". However when I looked at the men, they seemed to be the same man wearing the same outfit. I looked and looked again. It wasn't until they spoke to each other that I realised they must have been twins.

Then they got into their identical cars and drove off!

Danny Divito and Arnold Swarzchenegger they weren't.

New job

2011-02-28T21:15:00.000Z

Started new job today so really too tired to Blog with any sense! However, having spent a day in the company of 70 strangers (who I do hope to get to know) I know I will have plenty of new material to write about over the coming weeks, months and years......

This week I'm grateful for Henry

2011-02-27T11:56:00.001Z

No, no he's not a relative, but he is a valued member of our family.....

And the children love him. So much so that every time I have to vacuum (and with Missy A now feeding herself, its after most meal times) they play with him for at least 30mins afterwards. This leaves a little time for myself whilst I get an ultra clean carpet!!

Not sure I should mention that the children feel they have to kiss him goodbye before going into the cupboard!! Weird I know.

Part of Maxabella's blog hop.

Seven Deadly Sins Day 7: Greed

2011-02-17T20:27:00.000Z

According to the Oxford English Dictionary:
A noun meaning an intense and selfish desire for something, especially wealth, power, or food.

My confession:
I would like a new mobile phone and we really cant afford it. I have a perfectly good functioning phone but I need a new one. Someone slap me.....its irrational and I should be spending the cash on the things that really matter. But maybe I will only really be greedy if I were to actually buy it.

Seven Deadly Sins Day 6: Pride

2011-02-16T19:38:00.000Z

According to the Oxford English Dictionary:
A mass noun meaning a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one‘s own achievements, the achievements of one’s close associates, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.
Or it is a collective noun for lions but I don't think that is a sin!

My confession:
Now this isn't to say that I don't think Missy A is beautiful and of course I love her dearly; this post though is about Master A. I am very proud of him in every aspect, on the whole he is a well behaved boy and right on the button intellectually. But I am going to be very shallow and tell you that I have enormous pride as he is the most gorgeous little boy ever. He should be in a catalogue (although I wouldn't sell his services and make him model). Now, I have always said this Blog will be anonymous to ensure that no one can identify my children... but I have to share with you his eyes .....

Seven Deadly Sins Day 5: Wrath

2011-02-15T19:52:00.001Z

According to the Oxford English Dictionary:
A noun, meaning extreme anger.

My confession:
As this had been a [very out of character] public display of my anger it is hardly a confession but hey ho..... yesterday. My meeting went on (and on and on and on) at work and I left late. On getting out of the office I picked up my mobile to find several messages from Mr A. Unfortunately I could only hear a little of the message but I got the gist. Missy A is ill and he is off to the doctors. So on the way to the car I called home and I called his mobile but no answer. So as you can imagine by the time I reached the car I was in a bit of a state. Then, the aging car that had never let me down in the 8 years I had had it, decided today was the day it wouldn't start.

So here is a taster of what happened next. Just add a hysterical woman thinking the worst about her 1 year old to have an accurate idea of what really happened!

P.S One trip to doctors, two to the hospital and finally it turns out she has croup. Oh and Mr A has had an allergic reaction to his anitbiotics so is massively spotty and itchy. And (yes there is more) in addition to one car clearly not feeling well, something fell off of the other on the way to the hospital (hoping the car doctor might tell us what that was tomorrow). Yesterday was a bad day.

Seven Deadly Sins Day 4: Lust

2011-02-14T21:03:00.000Z

According to the Oxford English Dictionary:
A noun, meaning a passionate desire for something

The confession:
This is quite a good one as it is Valentines Day I suppose. However this wont be a smutty post about Mr A, mainly because he is currently head to toe in a viral rash and he isn't looking his best!! My desire is for a KitchenDevil mixer. Its simple - if I had the space I would have one.

Seven Deadly Sins Day 3: Envy

2011-02-13T18:54:00.000Z

According to the Oxford English Dictionary:
A verb (with objects) or noun, meaning a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.

The confession:
This is a wierd one from the mother who has it all. I envy a very good friend of mine who doesn't go to work; she stays at home to look after her children. Its a silly envy, however, as I know in reality if I didn't go to work my brain would go to mush and I probably would go mad. The grass is always greener .....

This is how I imagine it would be if I
were a stay at home mum!

but I know it would still be more like
this (only I wouldn't be this thin!).....